We have a special announcement!

We adopted this year!!!

That's right!!......

BUT, not in the traditional sense.... Let me explain... 

Traditional domestic/international adoption is something we have always wanted to do but have never had the money for... At around $35,000 for domestic newborn adoption who can?! At least not without taking out loans... (Sidenote: we do our best to live 100% debt-free, so doing loans etc. it's just not something that we ever want to take on again.) Not to mention how many times the adoptions fall through... Heart breaking...AND, you never know what the babies have been exposed to while in the womb, or what medical issues they may develop as a result of the genetics being unknown , which is true of any form of traditional adoption....

So with domestic and international adoption being too expensive, and a lengthy process, and one we dont feel 100% at peace with, and foster care being put on hold, (due to some concerns with the agency) how can I say we are "adopted" if we are not adopting internationally, domestically, or through foster? 

Let me introduce to you...

EMBRYO ADOPTION 

That's right, we adopted embryos this year! 15 embryos to be exact!! 

Embryo adoption/donation is another option that people are not very aware exists... Heck a year and a half ago I didn't even know it existed and I am pretty up-to-date on all of the in vitro/ high tech methods of getting pregnant due to the nature of my past gynecological history/ childbearing years, and activity in support groups of that nature. Anyway...

How it works- 

When couples go through in vitro fertilization, they hyperstimulate the ovaries to make a bunch of eggs... Then they retrieve the eggs from the ovaries using a special device ... After that they put that and the sperm together,  and if they fertilize, then those cells become an embryo (aka Babies)- Many people who go through IVF end up having leftover embryos after their treatments that are in storage, frozen in time. After they have completed their families and choose to not have more, they are left with a decision on what to do with those leftover embryos. Some choose to destroy them or donate them to a science for stem cell research which at the end of the day, kills the embryos... 

But a lot of people are starting to realize that there is another option...Donating your leftover embryos to people who cannot have children/more children of their own for what ever reason (genetic issues, Low ovarian reserve, recurrent pregnancy loss due to immune issues,  failed reversals etc, some people have genetic conditions they don't wish to pass to children and thus don't want to use their own genetics, or don't have the money for IVF/PGS testing). 

There are many clinics that run a program (which is 99% of the time anonymous ) with donor embryos, or you can choose to privately match with someone (yes there is a site for that! Lol)  and go through attorneys, and usually use the donating couples clinic for services (like the transfer of embryo into your uterus), as well as decide how open of a relationship you want to continue to have with the donating couple should the cycle result in a baby etc...There are even clinics aborad that offer super low cost options, and agencies that can also aid in helping you "match" with a donor and embryos. 

So after you have chosen which way you prefer to obtain your embryos, then you narrow down and choose which embryos you are going to adopt, (people's preferences for choosing embryos varies greatly, we are not very particular- we were more concerned with previous pregnancy success and health of the donors). 

You do have to go through a psychiatric evaluation in order to make sure that you are clearheaded about using third-party reproduction and if all goes well you will be given the go ahead to "adopt them" (it's not really adoption - our government has decided that a baby is not a baby until after birth -or after 24 weeks - it is technically a transfer "property" - unfortunately our government does not believe life begins at conception- I digress 

Thrn, the legal stuff is all done (it's very minimal for anonymous, just notarizing  a few forms- there are quite a few more papers that need to be drawn up by an attorney if you are going to have a privately matched  open adoption, where you will be in contact with the donor family for life) 

 Then, after all that - you need to have medical testing completed . A regular STD panel etc. .. They also like to make sure your uterus looks good enough to carry . If All goes well ... Then they (medical team) gets you prepared with some hormonal medications to get your body in a good state to support a pregnancy . You are Essentially mocking hormones you would have if you were doing this naturally. The dominant hormones that are used are estradiol valerate and progesterone in oil. Or other variations of those medications/hormones.  They also do a couple of ultrasounds to check the uterine lining, and some blood tests while you are taking your estrogen and progesterone injections. Once  your body reaches the optimal stage to receive a embryo that's ready to implant, (usually embryos are at day 3 or day 5 of development)  they then they thaw the embryos, (some don't survive the thaw- but most do) and if all goes well they are then transferred into the uterus of the adopting mom via a very small catheter that goes into the uterus (usually no more than two are transferred- depending on the stage of the embryos they can include up to four) 

... After that you hope and pray that the little embryos attaches and snuggles in  and sticks! 9 -12 days later you go for a blood test to check and see if it worked.

... If they stick, And if all goes  well, in about nine months you will be giving birth to your adopted a child... 

Having all of the time to bond and feel the baby inside of you, being able to give birth, and most importantly knowing you have 100% full prenatal control and a good environment for the growing baby... Something you really cannot be sure of when you are adopting traditionally... 

One of the other BIG benefits about embryo adoption is that it is MUCH less expensive than regular high-tech methods of getting pregnant, or other methods of adoption... IVF can run you anywhere from 10 to $25,000 (not including $6000 in medications) ... If you need an egg donor, throw in another $10, 000 on top of that... Never mind even considering surrogacy which is another $30,000 -80,000 on top of whatever you paid for IVF and you don't get to carry the baby...Plus its not legal is some states...

Embryo donation runs about $4000-8000. (only 1900 in  a few of the European countries)  Essentially you are just paying for the administration fee and The transfer of the embryo into your uterus... though the individual costs vary from clinic to clinic .The embryos are technically donated, so it isn't really adoption, but it's easier for people to grasp the concept when you say adoption VS donation...

 You are not ever allowed to actually "pay" for embryos, so the money you are paying is just covering the costs of the embryo storage, and all of the coordination fees, and about $1800 for the actual transfer. (again all of these prices vary depending on the doctor and clinic) . But again, its so much more doable financially than MOST other methods...

And for those who were already OK giving up having a "genetic" child , but felt sad they were going to miss out on pregnancy, this is the best of both worlds. and FOR ME, this is extra important after so many losses... For those who do not know, we have a immune issue that is sort of genetically related though the match of HLA's... The short version is, my body attacks pregnancies that are created with only OUR genetics... Through the years we have had over 13 documented losses ranging from 4 weeks to 19 weeks along (few more were not documented in my medical file).

You might be thinking , "So how can this work for us if I have problems with miscarrying? "

So because our issues are immune related, but, triggered by a genetic component, each time we make a baby together, with OUR genetics it triggers the issues causing my body to attack the pregnancy ... Because the embryos we are adopting are NOT ours genetically, my body WONT attack, and the pregnancy progresses like normal! And my reproductive immunologist (Jeffery Braverman) said that if I can carry a pregnancy (donor embryo) to term, my body may eradicate the antibodies that are responsible for all the other miscarriages and various other auto immune issues... Amazing right!? 

There are many many reasons why we feel embryo adoption/donation is the right choice for us (and don't think it was an easy decision and we didn't consider every other option fully) and I know there are going to be people who won't agree with it, or US wanting to add to our family in general (no one's business and nobody's place to judge)  But, I personally think it truly is an amazing gift and blessing to have the option of going this route...For us... For anyone struggling... 

And as a Christian I think it's up to us to fight for these little souls on ice... How can we get riled up about babies that have been aborted  already, but not stand up for these little ones that actually have a chance? A chance to be the next president or the next mother Theresa... 

If We believe life starts at conception, then those  little embryos are lives... Who deserve a future... Who deserve love and a family. 

We believe that this is the way we are called to grow our family since we are not able to do so on our own anymore (and NO our issues are NOT a result of "God saying stop", we don't believe God puts illness on people).... I can't explain it any other way other then it just feels "right". God has confirmed it more than a few times...  And thankfully, insurance will be paying for a good portion of this so the financial burden is minimal. 

So this November 12th, we will be undergoing a frozen embryo transfer, putting in adopted babies, (two) and hoping for a little one or two, summer of 2016!! 

If we are successful and have another child or two we will be re-donating the embryos to somebody else! The cycle continues! 😀

Prayers are soooooooooo appreciated!