Feels good to be back...

Back "home"...Back on the mountain...Back in good ol California...

I have been finding myself filled with much more peace and joy, despite my health circumstances. I think it is a combination of  fresh mountain air, the sunshine, amazing landscape and views, being close to family, and connecting with old friends, in this new season also meeting new friends who have brought a richness to our lives...

We have been greeted by strange weather, (severe thunderstorms, dust storms) earthquakes, all kinds of wild life, including a HUGE bear who likes to stuff himself with our garbage...lol...California is such a DIFFERENT place compared to New York...It has been a great change for all of us...Its like each day is a new adventure...Even though these are my "old stomping grounds" I feel like it is somehow different than it was when I was younger...I have lived a LOT of life in the 12 years I was gone, and now, have returned with a new appreciation...And and expectation...I cannot explain it, but there seems to be a weight that has lifted off of me, and I can really BREATHE...I can stretch out, and really be ME...Crazy, silly, fun filled ME....

He still has a plan...

You have been sitting in the ash heap of your broken heart and burned up dreams. You had to rest and be still there a while, because your pain was so immensely great. You felt stuck, but had to be still for Poppa God to heal you. He sat there next to you in your great pain and grief. At times you couldn't feel His presence, and this pained you, because the depths of emotion were so dark and lonely.... Many friends and family were there at the beginning, but they finally stopped hanging around. In your time of isolation, you were being held under the very wing of His love. His shadow was protecting you from the harsh exposure of your brokenness. You were laid out bare and feeling naked. False shame and the soot of your ashes made you feel unlovable and unworthy. You felt that all eyes saw only your mistakes and your rejections -your ashes; but He was washing you gently. Pulling out the splinters and shards of glass that penetrated your heart. The abandonment you felt was so heavy, you thought you could never be loved again, but He was with you all the time. Some nights were so long and so lonely, your tears fell like waterfalls. Your pillow was soaked at night. You bravely smiled in the daylight and told others you were fine. Your soul was being strengthened. Your resilience was emerging. Your faith was growing through the thickets and briers ...stronger, reaching high to the heavens. You didn't know this, but the saints were cheering you on. God Himself was holding your hand when no-one would comfort you. Your tears have been collected carefully in His perfume bottle. His oil of gladness is now replacing the sorrows for songs of joy. Rise up, Beloved. Out of your ash heap you will rise. He is pouring out His sacred, sweet oil on your head. He is the Glory and lifter of your head. Those who look to Him are radiant and their faces are never covered in shame. The traces of the ashes are no more. Your robes are radiant and white, glimmering like diamonds -just as the afternoon sun shines on a lake. There will be scars from what you overcame, but they are your marks of beauty for His glory and purpose. The pain will fade away, but your strength and faith will remain. You will rise, Darling. You will stand on the heap of the enemy, with his head crushed under your feet. You will walk in honor and beauty. You will be celebrated as one who is a mighty and brave warrior -a princess anointed as queen at the table of the King of Glory. Do you hear Him call out to you? "Rise up, Beautiful One. You are my Beloved, and I am faithfully yours." 

~Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives/ A Modern Day RuthCopyright 2013.